Recently I made a day trip to Columbus to attend a workshop for school (people who think that teachers don’t work in the summer are wrong). As I was driving home enjoying the quiet of the car I noticed a GIANT billboard that read, “If you died today, do you know where you would end up?” Less than a mile later was another GIANT billboard that read, “Hell is for real.” I thought about these obnoxious signs most of the way home and for several days since. Now, before I go any further, let me say that yes, I do believe that hell is real and that it is serious, etc. That debate is not my purpose here. Continue reading
Today I am feeling a bit guilty. I feel guilty for letting myself get caught up and run down by my “problems.” Guilty for worrying about stuff that really just doesn’t matter. Guilty for allowing the frustrations of my world cause doubt and fear. The reality is that my problems are nothing. While my daily challenges may seem like moutains, they really are insignificant in the big picture. I work with children every day who deal with more than I could even imagine dealing with – even as an adult – and yet they are trying to navigate their way through minefields as children. Continue reading
The past month at school has been a rough one. Not rough due to the behavior of my students, or because of the insane expectations that have been put on the staff by our administration (insane is putting it lightly), but rather by the situations that many of my students are in. Everyday I hear stories that are hard for me to understand…hard for me to even fathom. Many of my students face daily challenges that I will never know. They are neglected, hungry, Continue reading
Over the course of the last few years, I must say that my prayer life has grown stronger and stronger with each passing day. I have really discovered that its a lot less like a formal request made of some far-away heavenly father, and more like an on-going conversation with my constant companion throughout my entire day. It has been a huge evolution for me and has made such a difference in my life and my relationship with God. I find that it is not a one way street – Continue reading
Brian and I were honored to lead worship for Offerings Ministries first Saturday night worship service. We got to meet many great people and were overwhelmed by the evening. Felix brought a great message from the Word and the spirit of the Lord was most definitely present in that place. I think that the most powerful moments of the entire night came with prayer. Many people in the room had prayer requests and shared them. Many faithful people circled together in this small space and lifted those requests up to God. Emotions were shared freely, tears shed, and honest fervent prayers were offered up to our Father God. I feel very blessed to have been a small part of the evening. I have always believed in the power of prayer – can’t imagine a single hour of a single day without talking to my heavenly Father – but I have never been a part of a prayer service so special. It was a beautiful, powerful evening…very glad Faith Passage was there for it!
Brian and I formed Faith Passage just over a year ago and began writing and sharing our music with others soon after that. I never thought that I could write songs and was apprehensive (to say the least) the first few times I shared lyric ideas with him. It was difficult to put something out there that I had written…what if it only made sense to me? what if he didn’t like it? what if it is just awful? I have since gotten over (almost) many of those feelings when we sit down to create together. Partially because we have written numerous songs together in the last year and have grown together through that process, but also because I have learned a lot about myself as a writer and as a person. I have learned that the lyrics that I write are what is on my heart at that time. Things that I am feeling may spark the first line or chorus of a song. My feelings and my thoughts are what I am truly experiencing at any moment and God understands them. God knows what I’m thinking. God created in me the ability to think and to feel – and to write. I no longer get anxious when I share things – because I know that I write from my heart. I just hope and pray that the songs we create help share our faith and touch lives. This song that I want to share is one the most “simple” songs, lyrically, that we have written. These are words that I try to pray every day of my life and I love sharing this song with others.
Lead me, God
Lead me today
And guide me
Show me the way
Speak to me
Open my mind
And show me
Open my eyes
Make me brand new
And work in me
Make me like you
Lead me, God
Lead me today
PS I finished this post and went outside to cut the grass. As I mowed I was nagged by the feeling that I had forgotten to say everything that I wanted/needed to say in this post – and then it hit me. I am only half of the songwriting duo that is Faith Passage. Brian is an amazing guitar player and songwriter. He writes beautiful music to which I am honored to add lyrics. Without his creativity and amazing skills, my lyrics would be nothing. And now, I must finish the grass…
So I woke up around 3:45 a.m. unable to breath, feeling the onset of a panic attack and carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. I hate waking up like that. I am a worrier…its just what I do. I fight it and try earnestly to turn things over to God and let him take care of them. I try. And some days I am very good at that…and some days I am not. When I sat straight up in bed with tears of worry streaming down my face, it caught me off guard. I hadn’t had a night like this in a while. I was worrying about immediate things, things that are out of my control, things that may or may not happen in 20 years. I tossed and turned and tried to clear my mind. I tried to be rational (not an easy task at 4:00 a.m.). The harder I tried to stop worrying, the more I worried. After about an hour of exhausting my list of things to worry about, it hit me. I had been a slacker…I had not been turning things over to God. I had not been praying as often and as focused as I know I need to do. I was not feeling especially close to my God. It had been a subtle “lull” in my relationship with him. And then it hit me some more…I was the one who had changed. God is always ready to guide and lead and listen, but I was the one who had created distance. Just a small bit of space in my relationship – a lack of focus in my prayer life had caused my sense of panic and unrest. I had moved. I find a bit of comfort in that – not that I had let myself down – but that as easy as it was for me to lose my focus, it was just as easy to find my way back!