The absence of light

candle-frame2I love the energy and excitement that surround the educational process. I love learning. I am passionate about reading and writing. I love the idea of sharing what I know with others – and even better – teaching others how to think and learn for themselves. I teach middle school English/Language Arts so one would think that I would be as happy as a clam that I get to do what I love every day. And I will admit there are flashes of those truly wonderful, teachable moments. But lately, I have just been drained of my passion and love for teaching and for learning. It makes me sad. I wish I could re-capture some of the excitement and figure out how to pass it on to my students…but lately that has not been the case. (I’m a little embarrassed to admit that – but I have to be transparent – or I should not even bother to blog). During one of our amazing early morning conversations, Brian helped me really get to the heart of why I have been pretty miserable lately at school. It’s not about kids who misbehave, or administrators who seem to be out of touch. It’s not even about parents who are practically non-existent in the lives of their children. I’m certain those things occur everywhere. The revelation that I had this early morning was that it is just dark here. There is no light. There is so much brokenness and hurt and pain that light has a hard time shining through. And when a glimmer of light seems to shine through, it is quickly extinguished. I try not to write negative posts – and I’m not trying to throw myself a pity party about my work situation. Again, I’m just trying to be real about life and about the hardships and struggles. Matt Chandler, in his latest message, spoke about people who “pretend” things are ok and great – just so they will appear to be further in their walk than they really are. I don’t want to be one of those people who pretend all is well and that I am positive all the time and that nothing gets to me because I am a strong woman of faith. Rather, because I am a strong woman of faith, I can be real about life and problems and darkness, and know that God meets me where I am and loves me for who I am. I pray daily that I could be a light to someone here in my school. But reality hits me that it may not look the way I think it should. I know in my heart that some people occasionally stand in just a glimpse of the light in me…but I feel that most of the time, that light is swallowed up by the thick darkness of the world in which I work. It is my prayer now and going forward that I do not ever relent in my desire to shine. That I do not ever let the darkness of the world snuff out the candle I carry. And that I commit to memory that there really is NO such thing as darkness….it is just the absence of light. May my light NEVER be absent in this place.

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Life to everything, Light to everyone

“For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than any two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires” ~Hebrews 4:12

I am going to try and not come off too “preachy” in this post, but I can’t make any promises. I feel so strongly about this topic that it will be hard for me not to “should” on you. I apologize, in advance if…wait – no, I don’t apologize. I am not sorry for being passionate about this topic. I was raised in the church. My daddy is a preacher. I have always owned a Bible. (Back in the day – it was straight up KJV…but now I own several different translations.) Since I found my own relationship with Christ I feel like I’m pretty good. (Kind of funny since it doesn’t really matter how good I am in God eyes, I don’t have to earn his love – but that’s another post.) I have listened to countless sermons that have to do with the Word of God and how it is his guidebook for us. It is divinely inspired. It has story after story that help us see how to live our lives. I even recently came to understand that some books of the Bible are prescriptive, while others are descriptive. (Thank you Matt Chandler for that lesson). But the biggest thing that I can say about the Bible, about this living document that speaks to us, is that is really “works” best if we spend time in it…DAILY. Notice, I did not just say it works if we “read” it daily. Or if we memorize verses from it daily. We have to spend time in it. Read, listen, pray, re-read, accept new ways to understand things we thought we already had figured out. Reading our Bibles should NOT feel like a chore that we have to check off our To-Do list every day so that we will make God happy. Spending time in God’s word is something we GET to do – with our heavenly Father. And if we really clear our minds and our hearts and set aside time to dive into it, it is amazing the things that God reveals to us. I can honestly say that since I began devoting time every day to dwell in the scriptures, my life has drastically changed. I’m not talking changed like some of the false-teachers (Uh-hmm – Joel Osteen) claim – like I will get a new house or my dream job because of what I do for God). I’m talking about real, inside, to the depths of my soul changed. Like, I can feel the Spirit moving and guiding me through the passages as I read and ponder them. Each day when I open up the word, it is precious time spent with the Lord, and each day I gain wisdom and understanding of how much He loves me. I am his beloved. So much so that he left me a living word to guide me and reassure me, and inspire me, and correct me, and speak to me, and teach me, and to give me hope! I have read verses over and over – and then one day – one of those same verses will take on new life for me – based on what God wants me to hear. If you are a Christian and you are not spending time in the word (not just checking off your daily reading plan) you are missing out on ALL that God has for you. I passionately urge you to pray about it and try and read the Bible with the idea that you are listening for the Spirit to speak through the pages. There is so much to be learned from this gift from God. I have been thinking about this blog for a few weeks now and have just now gotten around to putting my thoughts out here. In the meantime, I just heard a sermon three days ago about this very subject (that was my “nudge” to go ahead and post this). In the sermon the Pastor used the illustration of when Jesus was in the desert and the devil was tempting him. Now, this is a relatable story – even if you don’t think it is at first glance. We ALL face temptation every day of our lives. Some days it’s every hour of our lives. How did Jesus face his temptation? He drew upon his knowledge of the scripture to combat the evil. Each time he told the devil, “It is written…” One thing I never thought about – Jesus reading scripture. He learned from the teachers in the temple. He read and studied and memorized scripture. So – if Jesus did it – read his scriptures – shouldn’t that be a pretty good example for us?!? The other take away here is that we should respond to temptation like Jesus did…”It is written…” And if we are not spending time in the word – how do we even know WHAT is written. How often do you hear someone throw out a quote of some kind and claim its in the Bible? Do WE know what is written? When we face temptation do we use this powerful tool we have been given to run it off? I speak so passionately about this because I have seen the transformation in my own heart – from spending time with God in his word. I have seen it change my husband as he spends more and more time in the word. We are told in 1 John “But if anyone obeys his word, God’s love is truly made complete in Him.”  We have to be IN the word in order to OBEY the word. This book gives light and life to me in my everyday walk with God. It is God’s wisdom and his love given to us.

The Word gave life to everything that was created , and his life brought light to everyone.” ~John 1:4