Choices

I can’t believe it’s been nearly two months since my last post. One of my New Years resolutions was to try and post at least twice a week…and I was on a roll there for a while. I’m not even really sure what happened – except life. I have learned a lot about myself and what it really means to be authentic over the course of the first two months of 2012. I truly wish I would have taken the time and energy to document  some of those lessons learned on here. But the beauty of living this crazy life is that it is second chances. I’m so grateful for second chances, and third chances, and fourth chances… My start of 2012 has taught me so far that life is really about choices. Every day we are faced with countless choices to be made…some very trivial, but some are huge. And some that may seem trivial at the time turn out to be huge in the impact they have on our lives or someone else’s. I have chosen this year to be the most authentic me that God made me to be…some days I’m on it…some days I wonder why he made me the way he did. I am very mindful of the choices I am making each day…and the presence of God in every moment of my life helps me as  I choose  – whether its dealing with a student at school, working out a problem with a co-worker, making that difficult phone call to someone who has been distant. God guides my choices and I am so dependent on him for that guidance and wisdom. My life is not perfect…and I’m blessed to say that, because through each struggle and set of difficult circumstances, God is helping me choose to be the woman he created me to be. With God’s love and mercy, I will continue to grow and learn and make the most out of every choice today.

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Why do I feel so alone…

The house is quiet. It’s late. I’m alone. I spent a beautiful evening at Foundation Community Churchs Christmas by Candlelight service tonight with our new church family. Pastor Scott and Jennifer created a lovely atmosphere, Pastor Simon (Scott’s dad) brought an awesome message, the food was delicious, communion and candlelighting were powerful…basically an awesome night. Then we went on to Brian’s mom’s house with his kids to celebrate and open presents. We smiled and laughed and really had a good time together. And then it was time to go home Continue reading

Listen

Last year, Brian and I each chose a word for the year to focus our own personal growth on. The word I chose was “listen”. I chose this word because I felt like it would help me in many areas of my life. My goal was to become a better listener for my students at school, my children at home, and my friends and family. The other part of this goal was to be better at listening to God’s will and guidance in my life. I have often said that I know that life is so much better when I get out of God’s way and let him reveal his plans for me. In order to get myself out of the way, I had to become better at listening to his directions. Too often I just go with my “gut” or my instinct, or, probably closer to the truth, I go with what I want to do…which often is not what God has in mind. Continue reading

Why worry?

Today I am feeling a bit guilty. I feel guilty for letting myself get caught up and run down by my “problems.” Guilty for worrying about stuff that really just doesn’t matter. Guilty for allowing the frustrations of my world cause doubt and fear. The reality is that my problems are nothing. While my daily challenges may seem like moutains, they really are insignificant in the big picture. I work with children every day who deal with more than I could even imagine dealing with – even as an adult – and yet they are trying to navigate their way through minefields as children. Continue reading

This Christmas

I used to get very depressed this time of year. Every year, about the middle of November, I would feel the dark cloud of depression begin to settle in over me. I love the buzz in the air, the festivities and the overall spirit of the holidays, so I never really quite understood why I had to fight against the blues annually. This year, however, I believe I have finally turned a corner. I have been freed of those feelings of sadness and depression. It is not anything that I have done myself – and definitely not on my own. This freedom from the chains of depression came from God. He is so good to me and gives me what I need to be the person that I truly want to be and to be the person that he knows I can be for him. Brian and I, through Faith Passage and through Foundation Community Church, Continue reading

One year later

The weekend is over – at least according to the calendar. But it is still being replayed in my mind over and over.  It was a weekend that we had anticipated and looked forward to for some time. On December 10, 2010 Faith Passage played our first “show” at Now or Latte Cafe in Trenton, Ohio. We had only begun writing songs a few months prior to this – but couldn’t wait to get out there and share them with people. A lot has changed in this last year Continue reading

Staying out of the way

Over the course of the last few years, I must say that my prayer life has grown stronger and stronger with each passing day. I have really discovered that its a lot less like a formal request made of some far-away heavenly father, and more like an on-going conversation with my constant companion throughout my entire day. It has been a huge evolution for me and has made such a difference in my life and my relationship with God. I find that it is not a one way street – Continue reading