So hard to forget

Why is it so easy to remember all the bad stuff and so easily forget the good? Sometimes, I get overwhelmed with negative feelings and regrets from the past that I know that are gone…they have been taken away by the blood of Jesus…but I won’t let them go. Why do those feelings resurface so quickly when things get tough? I know and believe with all of my heart each promise that God makes me in the Bible. I believe that I have been made new in him and that I am daily being transformed into the person he wants me to be. So why don’t those feelings – feelings of pride and of being loved unconditionally by my Heavenly Father surface first when life gets tough? Eventually my mind and heart get there, but typically, my first reactions are negative…I’m not good enough, not worthy, etc. I am told through his holy word that God keeps no record of wrongs. I am promised that because of the sacrifice that Christ made for me that I can stand holy and righteous before God. So then why can’t I let all of the past go? Why is it so hard to forget? The devil really knows how to find and play with our weaknesses. He looks at me and says, “I just need to remind her that she’s never felt like she measures up…she’s not worthy.” And he jumps in and grabs hold. Why does his voice sometimes ring louder than the voice of the Holy Spirit who lives within me and guides me every day? I know that I am a beloved child of God. I know that He is stronger than the devil and that he is my guide. I know that I DO NOT have to live with the shame of past mistakes! I guess I just need to let the devil know – loud and clear – that MY GOD loved me even while I was still a sinner and that His love never fails. I need to stop allowing the devil to speak negativity into my world by listening more closely to the voice of the sweet spirit dwelling in me. I have to be the one to forget the hard stuff….cause God already has.

Dear God,

Please forgive me when I listen to the whispers of doubt that play with my mind and my heart. Thank you for loving me enough to save me from myself. I worship and adore you! And I know that you are working in my life each day, and that through that work I continue to grow in your love.

Amen.

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Be Present

This morning one of my co-workers said something to me that has resonated in my head all day long. She was telling me about her break and how nice it was to be off, but that she had had some things on her mind and she couldn’t shake them. She said that she felt those worries and issues had robbed her of much of her time and of her peace. Those words painted a strong mental image for me. And they hit very close to home. How often have I let worries rob me? How many times have my insecurities stolen from me?   When was the last time I allowed my fears free reign over my time? That one simple sentence made me really stop and think. It’s not like I wasn’t aware of my fears or my worries. I know they are there, and there are times when they are worse than other times. I had just never thought of the fact that I was allowing those feelings of doubt to take away precious time. I really did some soul searching, and I’m sad to say that I have lost countless hours of my life and my precious time worrying, stressing, and being fearful. Its not rare to hear people say that there’s just not enough time in the day…or if I only had more time. Time is precious. Time is a gift. Time should not be wasted – or stolen – by worries for tomorrow. I’m so thankful for those simple words spoken by my friend. As I strive to be the best version of myself in 2012 and to be authentically me, I will no longer allow myself to be robbed by fears and doubts. Rather, I will focus on being present in each moment I am given.