My mission field

The past month at school has been a rough one. Not rough due to the behavior of my students, or because of the insane expectations that have been put on the staff by our administration (insane is putting it lightly), but rather by the situations that many of my students are in. Everyday I hear stories that are hard for me to understand…hard for me to even fathom. Many of my students face daily challenges that I will never know. They are neglected, hungry, crying out for positive attention and guidance. Some of them are homeless, or trying to be the “adult” in their family because their parent (rarely parents) are alcoholics, drug-addicts, prostitutes – or all of the above. There are days when I feel ashamed that I have such an “easy” life compared to what my students have. There are moments when I have no words for them…all I can do is cry with them. Many of the things I see or hear I literally cannot understand. And often I find it difficult not to just break down and feel hopeless. It is in those times that I am overwhelmed by the sadness and hopelessness that I am reminded of the words to the song “Give me your eyes” by Brandon Heath. I truly believe that God has placed me on this mission field so that I may learn to see things through His eyes. The chorus of the song goes like this; “Give me your eyes for just one second, give me your eyes so I can see everything that I’ve been missing. Give me your eyes for humanity. Give me your arms for the broken hearted, ones that are far beyond my reach. Give me your heart for the ones forgotten. Give me your eyes so I can see.” Everyday I work with kids who are broken hearted, forgotten, and sometimes far beyond my reach. Yesterday was an especially rough day (I feel silly saying that it was rough on me – when I am just hearing the stories – not living them)…and as I reflected back on the moments that I felt helpless, I just kept hearing this song in my head. God wants me to be His eyes in this place. I will never be able to “fix” or “save” everything…but I can keep asking God to guide me, to show me, and to give me His heart for these kids. He will be my strength and shield for them.

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5 comments on “My mission field

  1. Brian Suman says:

    You are a beautiful soul and this post brings tears to my eyes. Continue to minister to your students and be God’s shining light that will help brighten their world.

  2. Jules Smith says:

    Brian…without your constant encouragement and strength, I would not shine nearly as bright. Thanks for such love and support.

  3. Ron Huffman says:

    Great Post, I can see that God is using you as his tool for these children. We may not know why but clearly God does….

  4. It’s not silly for you to feel the feelings that you do. It takes an emotional toll that is for sure. Continue to be His eyes and He will give you the words and His strength! God Bless You!!

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